last night Pastor Jeff talked about faith, and he started by asking if you’ve ever not believed, if you’ve ever had times where you simply didn’t believe

let me tell you a story about myself. i have always struggled with finances, and the lastest chapter in this frustrating battle to believe, happened recently.

at summers end, i will be going to a wedding in michigan, where i’m best man. so i have to rent a tux for it, and i have to buy a plane ticket to fly there. that, among other costs i will have, and needing some money to buy textbooks for college adds up to quite a bit of money that i need. i added it all up and i figured out that the absolute minimum sum of money that i’ll need is far greater than the absolute maximum amount of money that i’ll have.

and do i believe God that he can provide? i wish i could honestly say yes. i want so badly to believe. and yet, deep down, in my innermost parts, in the depths of my heart, i don’t believe. i don’t.

and i have to tell God that. something i’ve learned about faith and believing is that God wants us to believe, right? he tells us all over the place in the Bible to believe in him. so he wants us to believe.

now if God is all powerful, and he can do anything, can he not help us to believe? can he not take my doubts, fears, and disbelief, and help me to believe? he can. and he will, because it is a part of his will for me, for all people.

so do i now believe that God will provide? he is started to bring my heart to a place of belief, but it’s an arduous path of hardship and toil, but God can do it. that i do believe.

so my question to you is, do you believe? are there times when you say that you believe, but you know deep deep down that you really don’t? are there times when you want so badly to believe but you just can’t force your heart to actually believe?

be honest and real with God. he will honor you and he will help you to believe. but you have to be willing to admit that you just simply don’t believe. but God will honor that. he will not judge you, shout at you, or condemn you, but he will instead reach into your deep deep heart and help you believe. for we are vast, and our hearts are truly far too deep for even us to ever truly touch and control.

in having faith, it’s okay to not have it, but recognize that you don’t, and ask God to help you to have it! and he will!

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